Before Coffee:
I couldn’t think of anyone better to have my first date with than Sam because despite feeling like we’ve known each other for a lifetime, the reality is she only blessed my life three months ago.
I met Sam Monday the 12th of April 2021; I remember it so clearly not only in my head but because in my journal entry for that day, I wrote, “I hope she likes me; I hope we become friends”. I instantly liked Sam; she was charismatic, passionate, and could deliver a joke with perfect delivery, perhaps my favourite thing of all. One of the first things she gasped to me was, “it’s essential as girls that we support one another”. It was refreshing, and I say that not because of the concept but because I knew she meant it.
In the days that have transpired, three months to be precise, Sam and I have become particularly close. What started as a friendship of knowledge transfer due to work quickly turned into one of extreme oversharing, whereby no, and I emphasise no topic is considered too far. As corny as it may seem, Sam is by far one of the most remarkable people I have ever met, and I say that selfishly because I think Sam coming into my life has made me a better person. I could go on and on, but we’re about to catch up, so I’ll leave it here – I wonder If it will be possible to actually learn something new all things considered? Let’s do this!
Questions:
1. Favourite area of your home?
S: “my reading chair, there is something about it, the romantic lighting, the idea of reading a novel. It’s strange, but this is my favourite spot”.
2. Rank; Family, Love Life, Career?
S: “It’s tough because my partner is my family.”
P: “Sam, you can’t defend. You have to choose.”
S: “Fine, family, love life and career, I do care about my career, and it’s awesome, but at the end of the day, it isn’t going to hug me”.
3) Why do you think people believe in conspiracy theories?
S: “I think we want to believe there is more than what is in front of us; I think it’s exciting to think there is more to life and that a new truth has been uncovered and they’re doing something about it”.
4) What is the best piece of advice you’ve received?
S: “hmmmmm, there are many, but I think just that you have to take accountability for your happiness. You can’t always be happy, but you can take proactive steps to make yourself feel better. Also, always work on reacting better to situations, I often don’t, but I am working on it”.
After Coffee
** Admittedly, it wasn’t coffee, but rules are meant to be broken. **
What I thought would be a 30-minute conversation where I read out a bunch of questions and wrote down an answer turned into a 4-hour discussion about every aspect of life – many of which I have elected to keep private. I truly intended not to talk and only listen, but that’s not Sam’s style, and admittedly I am proud of that. In the three months I’ve known Sam, I have worked out that she is genuinely selfless and makes everyone’s voices heard. She shared stories with me about tragedy and triumph and overcoming difficulties with dignity and grace. Of course, she didn’t say that, but even the way she spoke so openly and courageously about them was inspiring to watch.
We spoke about love, death, role models, demons, books – the list goes on. Although, I think what struck me the most was our world view and at times the way it differed. In saying that, how we still demonstrated tremendous respect for one another was the best part. I suppose after so much unfiltered sharing, we recognised that our differences are a result of our personal experiences, cultures, history. I ended the conversation wholly believing that it is absolutely essential to hang around people who challenge you because you’re forced to defend your own opinions and, in doing so, evaluate them.
Sadly, Sam will be leaving my team soon – I only say sad because we won’t be a covid safe distance apart anymore. But ultimately, I am thrilled for Sam, the chance to learn about her dreams makes me confident it’s the right step, not that my opinion matters greatly. I can’t wait to cheer her on and hug her with open arms at the finish line.
Thank you for a beautiful first date, Sam; you’ve set the bar high.
PARIS HAILWOOD 
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