Before Coffee:
In my first few hours at university, I met James, a third-year student, and instantly became friends. I’ll admit, I thought I was pretty cool hanging out with third-year students, and I still think I’m cool to have him as a friend.
Our college experience was, unlike most, a truly unique experience. As agriculture students at the University of Melbourne, we had to live and study on a college campus/ working farm in country Victoria, literally in the middle of nowhere. It’s funny thinking about it now; maybe this time mentally prepared us for the pandemic because, at times, it felt like the most isolating place in the world. Although I don’t know that James would hold that perspective, he seemed to thrive in the environment and use it as a time of liberation. This is something I admire about him, his ability to accept things, never complain (seriously) and find value in every situation.
Upon reflection of that year, I realised that James and I have naturally outgrown many of the friendships we made during this period. I wondered for a moment why we have remained close, although it didn’t require much thought. During my first year and his last, we were on the brink of what most may consider real life, which led to many deep, intellectual conversations that required trust and vulnerability. I remember us talking about our existence, dreams, voicing our doubts, wondering if things would work out after finishing this chapter. We were questioning if we were ready to enter the longest chapter of our life – work, career. I think we bonded on these areas of discussion because we longed to fill our lives with new experiences and understand the world, and both believed a job would put a damper on it.
Now that we’re older, and at the age, we once contemplated with degrees, full-time jobs, living solo, I am excited to reflect. I think old friends you barely see often give you the most significant insights into how much you’ve changed.
Questions:
1. Dead or Alive, choose three people you’d like to go to dinner with?
J: “Anthony Bourdain, Eric Clapton and Steve Jobs”
2. What is your dream job?
J: “I’d say an actor; I loved theatre growing up, I like the behind the scenes. Also, I can’t deny the side benefits”.
(**For the first 2 minutes of him explaining why he wanted to be an actor, I genuinely believed he was saying NASA**)
3. What do you want to be remembered for?
J: “Just a nice person, who looked out for others, and the environment. I want to make the world a better place, be a ripple in climate change. I hope that’s my legacy”.
4. What age do you think people should settle down; you must choose an age?
J: “I’d say 33 years old is probably a suitable time to settle down, and it gives you time to do stuff in your life before you become fully responsible and agree to the mundane aspects that are inevitable with settling down”.
5. Where is your favourite place in the world?
J: “Amsterdam, Canada”
P: “James, favourite, one place”.
J: “I’d say Amsterdam. It was a period where I was completely or at least felt completely carefree. I had just finished university and moved there intending to have fun. I mean, my job of scrubbing toilets wasn’t wildly fun, but there was joy in just doing whatever to get by”.
After Coffee:
Firstly, I ended the conversation thinking about the beauty of old, genuine friendships. It doesn’t matter how much life gets away from you; when you catch up and reconnect, it’s as if no time has passed at all. So naturally, we shared those “remember when” memories that caused strong connection and happiness. I suppose taking your mindback to times gone by gives you insights on how you’ve changed because you “can’t believe you did it”. I think in every university friendship, there is a night or ten that went wrong, memories that remind us how far we’ve come. We all have highs in life, and they can be best appreciated by thinking about where you started with an old friend and laughter.
Honestly, I was pretty surprised by James’s answers; I certainly got an extensive insight into how he has changed. While I knew he was passionate about climate change, I didn’t realise how much the cause drove him into his current circumstances. However, he did spend years after college living abroad, and if there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty, it’s that travel shapes you. In saying that, one thing that hasn’t changed about James is his easy-going personality and ability to get on with things and accept them as challenges that push him forward. I couldn’t help but think maybe life isn’t as serious as we make it out to be, and if a three and a half-hour conversation leaves you with that thought, you’re hanging around the right kind of person.
Yet, my favourite part of our conversation was the plans made for when the pandemic ends. We promised music festivals, oversea’s travels, especially Korea, and even simple things like in-person coffee. I realised that this is the whole point of this silly little blog, to connect and dream. It’s the most beautiful feeling to recognise that one day this will all be over, and as long as we continue to hold onto hope, we can carry on during difficult times.
I am grateful to have James as a close friend, and I can’t wait for the day we find ourselves at the top of Mt Major in Dookie, Victoria, having a beer, reminiscing about the free fools we once were. 10-year reunion at age 30?
ps -a perspective of ruralness below
PARIS HAILWOOD 
Leave a comment